QMH Script for the...
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- homo Christmas (1995)
Er, ah, thanks, Gary. Welcome to Queer Music Heritage, and this is JD Doyle with my x-rated xmas show. Here is where you can hear all those naughty and queer Christmas songs that can't be played on the air. On the internet I guess anything is fair game. I'm starting off with my favorite of the whole bunch. You've heard me play a few seconds of it before on a couple of my Christmas shows, as that was all I dared, well, now you can hear all of it. Here's "Homo Christmas" by Pansy Division.
- homo Christmas (1995)
I followed Pansy Division with a song that's not really gay, but I find it strangely appealing. It's "Christmastime for My Penis" by the Vandals. That's from their album from 2000 called "Oi to the World."
On to Jan Barlow with her 1986 song "O Sodomy."
Jan Barlow - o sodomy (1986)
That was from Jan Barlow's cassette called "Dyke the Halls," and if you ever see a copy of that tape, grab it, as it's very rare. I had to borrow the version I have.
The Go Go Boys are known for their graphic lyrics. On the cover of their second album is the tongue-in-cheek blurb "Due to the gratuitous use of foul language, thinly veiled sexual innuendo, and frank reference to various forms of male-on-male mutual gratification, this CD should not be purchased by anyone under 18 or be listened to in a car with the windows open."
Their first album, from 1996, was called "Gay Apparel X-mas Songs" and from it here are three parodies. You'll recognize the tunes, but they called them "Harv & Harold," "Chicken Hawk Is Coming to Town," and "The Bottom Line."
Go Go Boys - harv
& Harold (1996)
And, from the Go Go Boys latest album, from 2001 called "Homo For The Holidays," here's one more, entitled "Taking Cover."
Go Go Boys - taking
Above & Below, Best Revenge
I followed that Go Go Boys set with the group Best Revenge, with "Cockring for Christmas." Some trivia about that group: they took their name, Best Revenge, from the title of one of the songs by Pansy Division. Next up is one that I won't play on the air, not because of its language, but because the artist is so controversial. It's Shirley Q Liquor with her song "White Folks Shoppin'"
Shirley Q Liquor - white folks shoppin' (2002)
three of Shirley's albums, and an out-of-drag photo
While you may or may not find humor with Shirley Q Liquor, she is indeed controversial. She is very, very popular on the internet, and on the mp3.com comedy charts her songs were number one for over a year. Who is Shirley Q Liquor? She is a drag queen persona created by Alabama resident Chuck Knipp. The character, a very strong stereotype of an African American welfare mother with 19 children, came into criticism last year when protesters picketed a New York City performance, protesting Knipp's blackface performance as racist and misogynistic. This lead to public response by various members of the drag queen and gay community, including drag performer RuPaul. Anyway, the song "White Folks Shoppin'" is milder than most of songs from her ten albums. It is a song by a white man pretending to be a black woman making fun of white people. Reminds me a little of "Victor Victoria." You know, a woman pretending to be a man pretending to be a woman.
All right, up next a song with a little something for everyone to dislike. It's openly bisexual TV actor and comedian Andy Dick singing "Santa's Yule Log."
Andy Dick - santa's
yule log (1998)
Comedian Andy Dick, of "News Radio" and Tiny Tim's Christmas CD, which did not include the AIDS song
I followed Dick with Tiny Tim, with another tacky song, "Santa Claus Has Got the AIDS This Year." That was from 1985 and I've no idea what possessed him to record it.
Now, I'm not sure I mentioned it, but because I'm presenting songs here does not necessarily mean I'm a fan of the song, or would even have wanted to play it on the air on Queer Music Heritage. But I figured, as long as I'm putting together this internet-only edition, showcasing x-rated queer Christmas songs, I might as well be thorough about it. After all, where else on the internet will folks be able to find "Frosty the Pervert." That's coming up in a couple minutes.
Next is Virginia Kegel, though I doubt that's her real name. She's the darling of shows like Dr Demento and all those comedy DJ teams across the country. I put together a very quick medley of three of her songs. Here's "Gay Rudolph the Deep Throat Reindeer," "Have a Pornographic Christmas," and, ta ta, "Frosty the Pervert."
Virginia Kegel - gay rudolph / have a pornographic christmas / frosty the pervert (year unknown)
so I couldn't find a photo of her...
Again, that was Virginia Kegel. The song "Jingle Bell Rock" is another easy song to parody, and while this song is not strictly gay, I'm presenting it for completeness. It's by comedian John Valby and you'll know his title immediately.
John Valby - suck on my cock (year unknown)
And finally, last up is a song from just last year, by HB Radke & the Jet City Swingers. From their sleigh riding in the sky they're singing "Below Me, It's Christmas."
HB Radke & the Jet City Swingers - below me it's christmas (2002)